Can a Long Distance Relationship Really Work?

Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

The question of long distance relationships is a complicated one with no simple answer. A long-distance relationship can indeed work, but it requires a certain type of person – and even then it’s never easy. Here are a few warning signs that a long distance relationship may not work for you.

Sign #1: You’re the Jealous Type

Jealousy and long distance relationships are a dangerous combination, to say the least. If you’re the type of person who gets nervous that your boyfriend isn’t where he says he is when he’s late or something like that, then you’re going to live in a constant state of panic if you’re in a long distance relationship. You’ll constantly be wondering if he’s with some other person, and you’ll never be able to know for sure. This will lead to you being suspicious of him and him being resentful of that suspicion, even if he’s totally innocent.

Sign #2: You’re Emotionally High Maintenance?

Some girls need their guy to shower them with gifts to be happy, while others are a different kind of high maintenance – they need constant attention and affection. If you’re that type of girl, a long distance relationship may be doomed. When it comes right down to it, you can only spend so many hours a day on the phone or texting – eventually you’re going to run out of things to talk about. While couples in the same place can just snuggle and watch TV or something, long-distance couples don’t have this option and that can lead to some serious problems for people who don’t do well on their own.

Sign #3: You Don’t Have a Plan

Even the healthiest long distance relationships need a “finish line.” In other words, there needs to be a long term plan for when you and your SO can move to the same area and be together for real. This can be tricky for two young adults who are both pursuing their careers or passions. Sometimes, pursuing a certain career in a certain location simply isn’t an option, and one or both partners can be hesitant to give up their opportunities in the name of a relationship that isn’t guaranteed to succeed (and at the end of the day, no relationship is a guarantee).

Even if none of these warning signs applies to you, don’t think that long distance dating will be an easy thing to do. It is a challenge to be separated from someone whom you love even for a week, let alone months or years. Keep that in mind before you embark on the road of long-distance relationships!

I Made a Mistake and Cheated… What Do I Do Now?

Cheated and Regret It? Learn What to do Next

We all make mistakes… but some are much bigger than others. Cheating on your significant other is considered one of the most hurtful things that you can do to another person. For some people, they do it out of pure selfishness, but for others it really is just a terrible mistake that fills them with regret – and then even more despair when the person that they loved no longer wants anything to do with them. If you’ve cheated but regret your mistake, here are some things you can do to control the damage and potentially salvage your relationship.

Tip #1: Be Honest

The biggest mistake that you can make after cheating is to lie about it. Chances are you won’t get away with the lie, but even if you do the burden of guilt will weigh you down and my destroy your relationship in a drawn-out and even more painful way. Think of it this way: while there’s a chance your SO will leave you when you tell him you cheated, it’s practically a guarantee that he’ll leave you if someone else tells him! Being honest about it shows your respect for your partner and lends credence to the notion that you see what you did as a mistake.

Tip #2: Don’t Press the Issue

After the bomb has been dropped, it may be tempting to smother your guy in affection to try and “make up” for what you did. This will not work. Not ever. In fact, there’s a good chance that he’s going to want nothing to do with you for a couple of days or even longer after he learns the truth. This is a natural reaction, so don’t jump to any conclusions. He may come back or he may not, but texting him every 10 minutes about is more likely to push him away than anything.

Tip #3: Don’t Make Excuses

Whatever you do, don’t try and justify your actions to your boyfriend or husband. It doesn’t even matter if your reasons had some legitimacy to them – he’s not going to want to hear them and they will only make him resent you. Take full responsibility for your mistake and let him know just how sorry you are.

As a side-note, be careful not to take this too far. Some guys take a cheating woman as carte blanche to do whatever they want – whether it’s cheating themselves or just treating their partner worse in general. Any guy who goes that route isn’t worth fighting to keep, so don’t fall into this trap.

It’s going to take a long time to rebuild the trust in your relationship, so be patient, be respectful, and know when it’s time to give up – because unfortunately, some relationships just can’t come back from infidelity.

How to Breathe Romance Back into Your Relationship

Bringing a New Fire to Your Relationship

It’s a common problem that almost every couple faces at some point: how do you keep that flame burning? It’s a fact of life that getting too familiar with someone tends to make you take them for granted. It’s also a fact that the more time you spend with someone, the more familiar you get. And of course, if you love someone, you want to spend more time with them. Thus, this problem is practically unavoidable for all but the luckiest of couples. What can you do to try and stay ahead of this problem and keep the romance alive?

Tip #1: Make Time for the Small Stuff

It may not seem like much, but doing very simple things with your partner such as eating or watching TV can go a long way toward building a healthier relationship. If you can’t even be bothered to do something completely passive and effort free like watch TV with your boyfriend or husband, then your relationship is in critical condition. Even if you can’t agree on exactly what to watch or when to eat, make a compromise and do it anyway!

Tip #2: Date Night!

While the impetus is often on the male in a relationship to plan dates, that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it too. Date night doesn’t have to be anything super fancy or special – just going out to the old classic date of dinner and a movie is more than enough. The point is just to get out of the house and spend some time with each other that isn’t just the same-old, same-old.

Tip #3: Explore Each Others Hobbies

Most couples don’t share the same hobbies, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. People do need their own time to pursue their own interests on their own time, and couples that share hobbies sometimes overwhelm and smother each other. That said, if you don’t share any hobbies with your partner and you’re spending all of your time alone doing your own thing, it may be time to make a change.

By showing interest in the hobbies and interests of your partner, you not only show them how much you care and make them feel important, but you also get to spend some quality time together. Who knows, you may even discover that you enjoy the hobby, even if it’s something that never interested you before.

These three simple tips can go a long way toward breathing some new life into any relationship, but these are just the beginning. Make no mistake, keeping a relationship healthy requires a lot of work – but it’s worth it!

Why Are Men So Afraid of Marriage?

What’s with Male Marriage-Phobia?

It’s a timeless plot of romantic comedies: the wedding-crazed girl and her reluctant beau. Any subject that pops up so often in popular culture without a doubt has some basis in reality. Perhaps you’re experiencing some of that in your relationship right now. It hits different women at different times, but for most women there comes a point where she starts to wonder, “When is he going to marry me?” If you’re in a long-term relationship and wondering why it hasn’t moved to the next level, read on!

Reason #1: Loss of Freedom

Most men don’t really have concrete plans for the future like a lot of women do. For a man, committing to marriage can be scary because it represents a loss of freedom. For example, a lot of young men are focused on their careers. They want to feel like they are not tied down to anything so that they can relocate in their career advancement demands it. Even if you would be willing to move with him, marriage can still feel like a huge weight for a lot of men.

Of course, for some guys the idea of “freedom” is much more sordid. Sometimes, even men who are committed monogamists like to hold on to the idea that they could sleep with other women if they wanted to. Being “locked down” to the same women forever is a scary thought for many men who still have the urge to sow their wild oats.

Reason #2: Too Much Stress

While the idea of planning a wedding may seem like fun for you, for most guys it’s a nightmare of stress and expense. For men, this can start even before the wedding itself: he potentially has to go spend a good deal of money on a ring and think up some kind of romantic way to propose to you as well. It’s a lot of inconvenience for what seems to most men like very little gain, so this is another big turnoff to marriage.

Reason #3: What’s the Point?

Frankly, some guys just don’t see the point of marriage. For them, it’s just a piece of paper certifying that they love you and want to stay with you – so why go through all the hassle? In their minds, they already know that they love you and want to stay with you (or in the worst case scenario, they know that they don’t!).

At the end of the day, marriage is a complex issue that’s hard to boil down to just these three things. However, just because a man doesn’t want to marry doesn’t mean that he isn’t committed. It’s important to be patient – within reason – and wait for the right time!

So Your Boyfriend Cheated on You… What Now?

How to Beat Being Cheated

There are few things more devastating in a relationship than discovering that your boyfriend has cheated on you. It doesn’t matter whether the relationship is months old or years old, that breach of trust can destroy your self-esteem and leave you wondering what to do next. If you’ve recently been cheated on, or even if you just suspect your man of cheating, here are some tips to help you deal with this painful situation (or prepare for the eventual fallout).

Step 1: Take some time!

The very first thing that you have to do when you hear the bad news is take some time to yourself to process everything. Emotions will be running high, and it’s easy to make a decision that you may find yourself regretting later when you’re under that kind of stress. If your boyfriend presses the issue, just tell him that you can’t talk to him until you’ve cooled off. If he’s respectful, he’ll back off – and if he’s not, then that should only make your next decision that much easier.

Step 2: Is he worth it?

A cheating boyfriend doesn’t have to mean the end of the line. Some men are compulsive cheaters who will break your heart again and again, but sometimes people just make stupid mistakes that they regret. There are a lot of things that can lead a person to cheat, whether it is that they are feeling neglected in the relationship or that they just got too drunk. While these things aren’t legitimate excuses, they are factors worth considering when trying to decide if the relationship is worth salvaging. Forgiving a one-time mistake may be worth it, but don’t bother asking yourself this question is this is the second or third time that a guy has cheated…

Step 3: Get to the Bottom of It

Building off of the last step, if you do decide to try and work through this situation, then you’ve got to get to the bottom of why he cheated. Only then  can you really make a final decision about what to do. It can be painful, but you have to talk to him about what caused him to cheat. Perhaps he’s not satisfied with the amount of intimacy in your relationship, in which case you have to decide if you’re willing to work more passion into things. It’s perfectly okay if you decide that’s not something you want to do – sexual compatibility is very important in any relationship, and if one partner’s sex drive is way higher than the others it can be very hard to make things work.

Of course, there are potentially dozens of different reasons for a guy to cheat. Once you’ve found the underlying reason, you have to decide whether it’s a problem worth fixing… or if you should just kick him to the curb.