We all make mistakes… but some are much bigger than others. Cheating on your significant other is considered one of the most hurtful things that you can do to another person. For some people, they do it out of pure selfishness, but for others it really is just a terrible mistake that fills them with regret – and then even more despair when the person that they loved no longer wants anything to do with them. If you’ve cheated but regret your mistake, here are some things you can do to control the damage and potentially salvage your relationship.
Tip #1: Be Honest
The biggest mistake that you can make after cheating is to lie about it. Chances are you won’t get away with the lie, but even if you do the burden of guilt will weigh you down and my destroy your relationship in a drawn-out and even more painful way. Think of it this way: while there’s a chance your SO will leave you when you tell him you cheated, it’s practically a guarantee that he’ll leave you if someone else tells him! Being honest about it shows your respect for your partner and lends credence to the notion that you see what you did as a mistake.
Tip #2: Don’t Press the Issue
After the bomb has been dropped, it may be tempting to smother your guy in affection to try and “make up” for what you did. This will not work. Not ever. In fact, there’s a good chance that he’s going to want nothing to do with you for a couple of days or even longer after he learns the truth. This is a natural reaction, so don’t jump to any conclusions. He may come back or he may not, but texting him every 10 minutes about is more likely to push him away than anything.
Tip #3: Don’t Make Excuses
Whatever you do, don’t try and justify your actions to your boyfriend or husband. It doesn’t even matter if your reasons had some legitimacy to them – he’s not going to want to hear them and they will only make him resent you. Take full responsibility for your mistake and let him know just how sorry you are.
As a side-note, be careful not to take this too far. Some guys take a cheating woman as carte blanche to do whatever they want – whether it’s cheating themselves or just treating their partner worse in general. Any guy who goes that route isn’t worth fighting to keep, so don’t fall into this trap.
It’s going to take a long time to rebuild the trust in your relationship, so be patient, be respectful, and know when it’s time to give up – because unfortunately, some relationships just can’t come back from infidelity.
There are few things more devastating in a relationship than discovering that your boyfriend has cheated on you. It doesn’t matter whether the relationship is months old or years old, that breach of trust can destroy your self-esteem and leave you wondering what to do next. If you’ve recently been cheated on, or even if you just suspect your man of cheating, here are some tips to help you deal with this painful situation (or prepare for the eventual fallout).
Step 1: Take some time!
The very first thing that you have to do when you hear the bad news is take some time to yourself to process everything. Emotions will be running high, and it’s easy to make a decision that you may find yourself regretting later when you’re under that kind of stress. If your boyfriend presses the issue, just tell him that you can’t talk to him until you’ve cooled off. If he’s respectful, he’ll back off – and if he’s not, then that should only make your next decision that much easier.
Step 2: Is he worth it?
A cheating boyfriend doesn’t have to mean the end of the line. Some men are compulsive cheaters who will break your heart again and again, but sometimes people just make stupid mistakes that they regret. There are a lot of things that can lead a person to cheat, whether it is that they are feeling neglected in the relationship or that they just got too drunk. While these things aren’t legitimate excuses, they are factors worth considering when trying to decide if the relationship is worth salvaging. Forgiving a one-time mistake may be worth it, but don’t bother asking yourself this question is this is the second or third time that a guy has cheated…
Step 3: Get to the Bottom of It
Building off of the last step, if you do decide to try and work through this situation, then you’ve got to get to the bottom of why he cheated. Only then can you really make a final decision about what to do. It can be painful, but you have to talk to him about what caused him to cheat. Perhaps he’s not satisfied with the amount of intimacy in your relationship, in which case you have to decide if you’re willing to work more passion into things. It’s perfectly okay if you decide that’s not something you want to do – sexual compatibility is very important in any relationship, and if one partner’s sex drive is way higher than the others it can be very hard to make things work.
Of course, there are potentially dozens of different reasons for a guy to cheat. Once you’ve found the underlying reason, you have to decide whether it’s a problem worth fixing… or if you should just kick him to the curb.